perfect timing

i have returned from the hell known as "thesis mode". my beast of a paper is done and in the hands of the reviewers as we speak..... let's keep our fingers crossed.

in other news, I WAS BAPTIZED!! i know this is a controversial issue with me being baptized as an infant, so we'll just go with the idea that i wanted to re-affirm my faith. no re-baptism or any such business. i was honored to be in the presence of many of the most influential people in my life, as they saw me take a step further in my faith... and even though the heavens didn't open and boom "here is my daughter, of whom i am well pleased", i have felt an increasing desire to know God and fully appreciate what he has done for me. in going through my testamony, i cannot believe where i am today and how he's taken me this far.

so,... i thought i'd just fill you in with a recent "spiritual epiphany" (as lauren and i love to call them). my dear friend anne (known for her expertise in books), recommended "changes that heal" by henry cloud...... and by 'recommended', i mean, 'bought it for me as a baptismal gift'.
we're supposed to be going through this together, but since she could probably read the whole thing in one sitting, i decided to get a head start (and i am only on chapter 2).

however, chapter 2 is about the necessity of time for healing. cloud uses the parable of the farmer who gets frustrated with his fruit tree, after the 3rd year of no fruit, and demands, "cut it down". i often question how many times i decide to "cut it down" in lack of patience. frustration mounts when i struggle with the same issue after years, but i am comforted by the fact that my God continues to work through those struggles, and eventually will prevail. i must remember that, "quick growth with no firm root will always be superficial and short-lived. deep growth is always slower" (cloud).

i've added a little background music by one of my favs, anna nalick. here are some thoughts from her:

cause you can't jump the track
we're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass
glued to the table

no one can find the rewind button girl
so cradle your head in your hands
and breathe....

there's a light at each end
of this tunnel you shout
cause you're just as far in
as you'll ever be out

and these mistakes you made
you'll just make them again
if you only try turnin' around