emotional girls...

We all know the girls that I am talking about
Well they are time bombs and they are ticking
And the only question's when they'll blow up
And they'll blow up; we know that without a doubt
Cause they're those girls, yeah you know those girls
that let their emotions get the best of them

And I've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man
Let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings
So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
Cause we'll know just what they're thinking
Cause what they're thinking...

She's so pretty but she but doesn't always act that way
Her mood's out swinging on the swing set almost every day
She said to me that she's so happy it's depressing
And all I said was "someone get that girl a mood ring"

If it's drama you want then look no further
They're like the real world meets boy meets world
meets days of our lives
And it just kills me how they get away with murder
They'll anger you then bat their eyes;
those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize

And I've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man
Let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings
So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
Cause we'll know just what they're thinking
Cause what they're thinking...

She's so pretty but she but doesn't always act that way
Her mood's out swinging on the swing set almost every day
She said to me that she�s so stressed out that it's soothing
And all I said was "someone get that girl a mood ring"

Cause when it's black (it) means watch your back
because you're probably
The last person in the world right now she wants to see
And when it's blue it means that you
should call her up immediately
And ask her out because she'll most likely agree
And when it's green it simply means that she is really stressed
And when it's clear it means she's completely emotionless
(and that's all right I must confess)

We all know the girls that I am talking about
She liked you wednesday but now it's friday
and she has to wash her hair
And it just figures that we'll never figure them out
First she's jekyll and then she's hyde....
at least she makes a lovely pair

Mood ring oh mood ring
Oh tell me will you bring
The key to unlock this mystery
Of girls and their emotions
Play it back in slow motion
So I may understand the complex infrastructure
known as the female mind

i speak geek

my dear friend allison recently lent me "what a girl wants"... a comical glimpse into the everyday life of a single, intelligent, 30 year old female living in silicon valley (seeing the parallel?). now, although i don't consider myself hopelessly single, i couldn't help but share in the author's frustrations. it seems as though the book is directed at the cluelessness of the men around us... in particular... engineers.

as a student at the uofi, women of champaign-urbana are flooded by equation driven, trilogy loving, let-me-fix-your-problems men (for lack of a better noun).... so i thought i'd post a little of this irony for those bloomingdale's princesses out there.

"i rail on engineers, but if you lived here in [champaign] where the men are engineers, and the women are hopelessly single, you'd understand my point. when a new science-fiction movie opens here, it's an event worthy of a costume...

'we're watching the matrix tonight, [val]. you want to come over?'

'no thanks'.... i don't add that i think the matrix is stupid. that's blasphemy around here. 'don't you guys ever get tired of our lives in [champaign]?... i mean, we always do the same things. we hang out at the coffee shop, we see the same movies, we - you know, i can't even think of what else we do...'

'the matrix is an allegory, a worldview, if you will.'

'we've still seen it a few times,' i try half-heartedly. i've started it. now we'll get into the deeper discussion - like why spock, without feeling, would sacrifice himself for mankind in star trek genesis.

'do you want to watch lord of the rings?'

he cannot understand my problem today, and i can't fathom my own lack of interest in the life around me. engineers have their own language, their own culture. my fear is that i speak it fluently, and if i ever leave, will i still be able to speak english? or will i revert to discussions about the battle for middle-earth? these are my people."

does it exist?

A University professor at a well known institution of higher learning challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?"

A student bravely replied, "Yes he did!"

"God created everything?" The professor asked.

"Yes sir, he certainly did," the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything; then God created evil. And, since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then we can assume God is evil."

The student became quiet and did not answer the professor's hypothetical definition. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "May I ask you a question,
professor?"

"Of course", replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?"

"What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?" The other students snickered at the young man's question.

The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460 F) is the total absence of heat; and all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat."

The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?"

The professor responded, "Of course it does."

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact, we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?"

Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course, as I have already said. We see it everyday. It is in the daily examples of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

The young man's name -- Albert Einstein



whether or not Einstein actually said this.... i have no clue.... actually, just no proof. i think what is more important is what is said than who said it. if joe down the street made this argument, i feel it is just as valid.... and what an argument it is!

ps - thanks sherrie for sending me this amazingness

worth a million words...

thought i'd share some interesting photos

(world AIDS day)

(field dressing rudolph)

(strangest animal alive: nocturnal lemur)

val needs...

thanks to the fantastic phil, i have found a new source of entertainment.... google.

simply type in "[your name] needs" and let the internet tell you what you really need. here are a couple of my favorites (with comments)

-val needs to get over whatever her problem is and have fun with vic (tell vic to come on over!!)
-val needs a haircut and to stand up straighter
-val needs overnight soaking
-val needs our prayers (how true, how true)
-val needs bright light
-val needs to be administered orally twice daily (haha... i love that one)
-val needs 130 grand (i don't know if that'll be enough)
-val needs little introduction (no comment needed)
-val needs no more friends
-val needs a serious spa day (AMEN!)
-val needs a really decent sized dump to get everything open (haha... my favorite!)